An old woman who have not been to Post Office (PO) for 20 years decided to buy stamps, to send Christmas greeting cards.
The PO clerk attended to the old lady: Ma'am may I know what denominations you want to have?".
Madam: Good grief! What the world it have come to, after 20 years! Ok...ok, give me four (4) stamps Methodist, 6 Lutheran, 7 Roman Catholic and 9 Baptist..... and add 10 more sundries denominations :) in case some in my greeting listing are cult group :)
Contributed by Ban Huat
This is too high standard, because i did not get it
ReplyDeleteAiyo Kay, where got too high standard joke:)
ReplyDeleteHope enclosed is understandable. I am gradually posting my joke in SC blog for review:)
BABIES DELIVERY
Four guys were outside the labor operation room. A nurse came out with two babies: John, congrats, you have twin. John smiled: Great, I work at twin tower.
Few min later… James, congrats, you have TRIPLET girls. James: Wow, my wife did a great job. I work in 3M Company.
Few min again… Albert, congrats, you have QUADUPLET boys. Albert: Wowie, my wife is superb and what coincidence, I work in Four Season Hotel.
The 4th guy hearing all this excitement was about to faint, and James, John and Albert rush to him to his side to hold him and said: Ah Chong…ah Chong, are you ok or is it too hot here?
Ah Chong: I am ok, I am ok….. but just scare to death becoz I work in 7-11.
MOST TOXIC FOOD
ReplyDeleteA consultant was giving a health talk to a crowd... Today, we have so many toxic food like red meat is a killer, bak-kut-teh give you high cholestrol, coke give you high sugar content, chicken wings causes too much oil to remain in your body and many more. But there is one food that is so toxic,that when consume, will cause you suffer and grief over your lifetime. Can anyone guess:).. An old man, age 90 put up his hand. Consultant: Yes, can you share with us your years of wisdom. Old man replied: WEDDING CAKE :))
SG,
ReplyDeleteAnother one for your reivew :)
CANNIBAL BREAKFAST
A cannibal and son, come across a very beautiful lady with stunning body taking bath at a river.
Son: Dad..Dad, we finally found our nice breakfast. I am starving.
Dad: son, we will not eat her.
Son: Why dad? I am very hungry :(
Dad: We will capture and take her home, and eat your MOTHER :)
SG,
ReplyDeleteAnother for your review:)
Air Flight Experience
This is Captain Albert Tan speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 125 from New York to London. We have a good start flight some 1 hour ago from New York airport. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the ocean with a nice scenery view."
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of our favourite beautiful air stewardesses. This is a recorded message." Thank you for flying British Airway.
SG,
ReplyDeleteAnother filter for your review:)
100 KISSES
A lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India…
Darling Sunita Kaur,
I can't send you your allowance this month because my company's performance is badly affected by low sales, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart, please adjust.
Your loving husband always,
JUSWAIT SINGH
His wife replied...
Dearest,
Thanks for the 100 kisses, Below is the list of expenses I paid with it:
1) The milk man, Bald Singh agreed on 2 kisses for one month's supply.
2) The electricity man, Kuldip Singh agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.
3) Your landlord Maniam Singh comes daily to take 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.
4) Supermarket owner Justwant Singh did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items, Trust you understand..
5) Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.
Don't worry about me. I still have a balance of 35 kisses and I think I can survive the month. In case not enough, I have spare items ...
Shall I plan the same for the next month?
Your Sweet heart always,
Sunita