End of Decade Gila Gila 2 Fellowship at Seremban Steamboat Centre.

PD Toastmasters Club celebrate end of decade bashing at Seremban Steamboat Centre. A big thank you to all members and friends for a great decade at PD Toastmasters Club and looking forward to another greater decade!Lots of 3Fs; fun, friends and fellowship.

ACS Rosa Phua having trouble with her camera and ATMB Dr Subhassh busy with his ice cream. Special thanks to TM Dharma for taking time off to join us and a special word of appreciation to CC Sukumaran for making to this Gila night after a tiring flight from India.

Monica and DTM Robert Tan looking great on this night. ACS Lee Kah Tor is lost without ACB Donna around and CC Kay is as beautiful as ever!

End of Decade Fellowship Celebration.

Port Dickson Toastmasters Club decided to end the decade on a high note. Our Gila Gila 2 steamboat fellowship dinner on the 29th December in Seremban 2 was a smashing success with 18 members and friends. Come join our celebration in photos. More photos to follow. CC Kay Ku is looking for her oyster in the seafood. CTM Margaret, CTM Yeoh Lian Geok, CC Vallie and TM Chandran looks on.

They were told steamboat can steam hair to grow! TM Dharma and CC Sukumaran in the believer group.

Our President, CTM R Kala is very happy because CC Zulkarnain and ATMB Tan Lai Hock is making sure she is sticking to her diet! They are eating everything up for her (look at Lai Hock's and Zul's stomach size).

Last Meeting for 2009-Memories for All

Port Dickson Toastmasters Club's last meeting of the year held on the 22th December 2009 in Sg Ujong Club in Seremban, Negeri Sembilan. These photos are especially meant for members and friends who cannot make it to the Christmas theme meeting! This meeting is full of songs and gifts. More photos to follow! Our core member ATMB Dr Subhassh discussing with our Ah Counter CC Zulkarnain to be more generous with his counting as a end year present to members. Our 'new' old member Valentine Sia pretending not to hear.

Our 4 Santarinas, ACB Amy Siew, ACS Rosa Phua, CTM Yeoh Lian Geok, and CTM Margaret waiting for Santa Claus to turn up.

A New Decade....A New Goal....

Port Dickson Toastmasters Club wishes all members and friends a new beginning in toastmastering in 2010!

Gila-Gila 2 Steaming Boat-Last Update

It will not be complete for year 2009 without a PD toast masters club fellowship.

We shall meet tomorrow night at 7.30pm ,29th Dec .

Subject : Gila-gila 2
Time : 7.30pm
Venue : S2 Seafood steamboat/BBQ(Buffet) Behind Jusco , next to a hardware shop.
Attire : Smart Casual
( I have surveyed the place, Seremban Police Force celebrated their annual dinner in the restaurant ,so for second thought, singlet might not be appropriate)
Price : RM 18 ++

Dinner is booked under PDTMC, See you all there.

Kay

The Language Perfectionist: Lie Down When You Read This One

By Don Hauptman

What's wrong with this sentence?

"How pleasant to lie prone on one's back on the cool grass, and gaze upward through the shady green canopy of boughs...."

The word prone means lying on one's stomach, face down. Thus, "prone on one's back" is a physical impossibility, even for a contortionist!

Here's how to distinguish among adjectives that describe various reclining postures:

• prone: lying face down

• supine: lying face up

• prostrate: lying face down, or at full length; can imply submission or humiliation

• recumbent: lying in a position of comfort or rest
  

Finally -- and this could be important -- don't confuse prostrate with prostate. This is a surprisingly common error, as indicated by the following example: "As men get older, the prostrate gland can cause quite a few problems..."

E- books on How to Make Life Easier

2010 is just round the corner. Do you want to start the year right and easier? Than just read one suggestion per day from these ebooks '100 Ways to Make Life Easier 1 and 2' by Marcia Weider

http://www.dreamcoach.com/pdfs/Fundamental_ebook1.pdf?utm_source=DreamZine&utm_campaign=375b6c5050-DC+Pre-Launch+1&utm_medium=email

http://www.dreamcoach.com/pdfs/Fundamental_ebook2.pdf?utm_source=DreamZine&utm_campaign=375b6c5050-DC+Pre-Launch+1&utm_medium=email

I am sure you will discover more passion, do more what you love and fill your life with ease.

Have a great 2010.

Word of the Day-Tawdry

Tawdry (TAW-dree) -- short for St. Audrey lace -- means gaudy; tastelessly showy and cheap.

Example : "I love Christmas time -- even the parts of it that are tawdry and blatantly commercial."

Season's Greetings to All Members and Friends

Port Dickson Toastmasters Club

wishes all Members and Friends

a Merry Christmas and Happy

New Year.

Steaming Gila Gila 2 Steamboat-Update 4

Our steamboat dinner is picking up steam now! Get yourself registered now before the steaming members can't talk to you! (Too busy eating and sweating)

Our Count up to now; 16 and still counting

GO:
1.Zulkarnain
2.Tan lai Hock
3.Rosa
4.Vallie
5.Kala
6.Tan Soo Guan
7.Kay Ku
8.Lian Geok
9.Indra (vegetarian)
10.Sukumaran (vegetarian)
11.GT Singam
12.Dr.Subhassh
13.Lee Kah Tor
14.Chandran
15.Robert Tan
16.Monica Tan

No go with apologies
1.Amy Siew
2.Kat Lee Lan
3.Chua Eu Chieh
4.Valentine Sia
5.Nageswari

Kay
Secretary PDTMC

A Great E-Book to Finish the Year

To finish the year on a positive note, read this e-book, Conversation with Millionaires by Michael Litman. Conversation with famous teachers like Jim Rohn, Mark Victor Hansen, Wally 'Famous' Amos, Jack Canfield, Sharon Lechter, etc on what drives them to success.

This 205 pages ebook is a must read for anyone who is aiming to go to the next level in 2010.

Go to this link http://www.mikelitman.com/finerminds/cwmbookfinal.pdf

Enjoy!

Madness Gila-Gila 2 Dinner- Updates 3

GT , Dr and Kah Tor replied to join Gila gila 2 dinner on the 29th Dec 2009 night.

Do not hesitate, it is definite an auspicious day with the awesome crowd. Please check the following list , we do not want to miss you.

Our Count up to now;

GO:
1.Zulkarnain
2.Tan lai Hock
3.Rosa
4.Vallie
5.Kala
6.Tan Soo Guan
7.Kay Ku
8.Lian Geok
9.Indra (vegetarian)
10.Sukumaran (vegetarian)
11.GT Singam
12.Dr.Subhassh
13.Lee Kah Tor

No go with apologies
1.Amy Siew
2.Kat Lee Lan
3.Chua Eu Chieh
4.Valentine Sia
5.Nageswari

Let us have a contest, the 1st three faces to be captured in the camera will be uploaded in our PDTMC blog. He.He.( now we can decide to have singlet or gown!! )

Kay
Secretary PDTMC

The Language Perfectionist: Always Avoid Ambiguity

By Don Hauptman

Some problems with the written word don't qualify as formal mistakes but rather are issues of style and expression. That doesn't make them any less serious.

One of these problems is the sentence so poorly worded that it's ambiguous and confusing. It forces the reader to stop and wonder: What is the writer trying to say? What does he mean?

Here are a few examples I caught recently in major newspapers:

• "Although Mr. Bush has given several speeches since leaving office... this is the first event where he has invited reporters to announce a new venture."
  
  Of course, the former president didn't suggest to reporters that they announce their own new venture. Better: "... this is the first event where he announced a new venture to invited reporters."

• "But while it may seem to be bad form, in some cases, it is legal for a credit-card issuer to close an active account...."
  
  It's not the "bad form" that "in some cases" refers to, but rather the legality of the account terminations. Omitting the comma after "cases" would clarify matters.

• "Our survey of consumers in five large country markets found a range of reasons why people opt for counterfeits."
  
  Are we talking about rural flea markets that aren't small? Nope. A subsequent paragraph makes it clear that the reference is to Brazil, Russia, India, China, and America. The problem can be fixed via hyphenation: "large-country markets."

Word of the Day-Innocuous

Innocuous (ih-NOK-yoo-us) -- from the Latin -- is another way of saying harmless.

Example: "Internal distractions may seem innocuous. But they can completely derail your schedule and put you off track."

Gila Gila Dinner 2- Update 2

Your response and support for this event had energised me even way before the event day. Thank you!

Our count had increased. Sukumaran from Chennai had also replied to participate. Let us all pray for his son's fast recovery.

I am trying to talk to the restaurant for some vegetarian food.

Our Count up to now;

GO:
1. Zulkarnain
2. Tan lai Hock
3. Rosa
4. Vallie
5. Kala
6. Tan Soo Guan
7. Kay Ku
8. Lian Geok
9. Indra (vegetarian)
10. Sukumaran (vegetarian)

No go with apologies
1. Amy Siew
2. Donna Kat Lee Lan
3. Chua Eu Chieh
4. Valentine Sia

Let us have a contest, the 1st three faces to be captured in the camera will be upload in our PDTMC blog. He.He.( Now we can decide to have singlet or gown!! )

Kay Secretary PDTMC

The Language Perfectionist: A Gallimaufry of Gaffes

By Don Hauptman

Below, another batch of interesting mistakes, all found recently in major newspapers:

*A Pentagon spokesman on unneeded planes: "We've always frowned upon earmarks and additives that are above and beyond what we ask for."

An additive is a substance, usually a chemical, that's combined with another substance. The right word here is addition.

*"Are we telling young adults it is alright to waste half their lives in a drug stupor and somehow it will magically work out?"

Notwithstanding the widespread use of alright in popular culture (The Kids Are Alright), the correct expression is all right. It's two words, not one. Notes Garner's Modern American Usage, an excellent style guide: "Alright for all right has never been accepted as standard in American English."

*"Demi Lovato... and Selena Gomez... are paired together for this comedy."
This is a classic redundancy. The word paired tells us that the actresses are co-stars, so together should be omitted.

*"Mr. Bowman, 47, appears to have crossed some unspoken line with his $400,000 in student debt and penalties, accumulated over many years."

The problem here is a misused metaphor. The line the writer figuratively cites isn't "spoken," but rather is like a line on a map or one drawn in the sand.

*"Sadly, there is a ton of good country music, but it is not being played on radio stations."

This writer is guilty of a misplaced modifier that contradicts his meaning. The mistake is easily repaired by moving the adjective: "There is a ton of good country music but, sadly, it is not being played on radio stations."

Quote of the Day

Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must first be overcome."

-- Samuel Johnson, Essayist, Lexicographer

Gila-Gila Celebration Dinner 2-Updates

Our latest Count as at 17th Dec 2009, 2.30pm;

GO
1.Zulkarnain
2.Tan Lai Hock
3.Rosa
4.Vallie
5.Kala
6.Tan Soo Guan
7.Kay Ku

No go with Apologies
1.Amy Siew
2.Donna Kat Lee Lan

We have enough number to gila now, but we hope more will join us. If we have more ladies, we can change the law ( 1st law to change singlet to evening gown. Why not gown for steam boat?)

Kay
Secretary PDTMC

Tips on Speaking in Public

Learn some tips on how to speak in your own authentic speaking style by Heidi Parr Kerner, MA. Go to this link to a YouTube site and enjoy!

http://www.theheartandsoulofspeaking.com/authentic.htm

Gila-Gila Dinner 2

Hello Toastmasters and friends,

It is coming to last few days of 2009. Come,let us
celebrate, the PD Toastmasters way. It will not be a fun
year without a fellowship .

Let us group ourselves together on 29th Dec to bid
farewell to 2009.

    Venue:      Steam Boat in Seremban (halal)
    Time :      7.30pm,Tuesday, 29th Dec
    Dress Code :Singlet for man and woman ( steam boat
                will be hot!!!)

It is not easy to accommodate everyone's time and
preference of taste and style. We do hope you will
try your best to make it for this event. Your presence
will glorify this event.

We appreciate your reply for counting purpose.

RSVP : Kay Ku :017 2910422

Kay

Word of the Day-Indiscriminately

Indiscriminately (in-dih-SKRIM-uh-nit-lee) -- from the Latin for "not separated" -- means arbitrarily; not based on making careful distinctions.

Example: "Somehow, along the way, I stopped saying 'no' indiscriminately. As an adult, I discovered that saying 'yes' was a better way to win friends and influence people. But I also learned that there were times when 'no' really was the right answer."

Jingle Bell Jingle Bell ......Last PD Toastmasters Meeting for 2009

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle all the way........

It will be lots of fun, fellowship, Christmas atmospheres together with learning environment.

Please bring your red X'mas cap or get a glittering wear (if you do not have X'mas cap) to the next meeting. Rosa will be bringing us some cake, Lai Hock will prepare PA system for us to have Karaoke (only X'mas song).

Only YOU will make this a memorable one for 2009.

Role Players for 22nd Dec 2009

Toastmasters of The Evening : Rosa Phua, ACS
Tabletopics Masters : Yeoh Lian Geok, CL
Tabletopics Evaluator : R.Kala, CTM
Humor Master : Indra, TM
General Evaluator : Tan Soo Guan, CC
Language Evaluator : Indra, TM
Ah Counter : Kay Ku, CC
Timekeeper : Valentine Sia, TM
Speaker 1 CC #5 : Robert Tan, DTM
Speaker 2 Adv #3 : GT Singam, ACB
Speaker 3 Adv #6 : Lee Kah Tor, ACB
Evaluator 1 :
Evaluator 2 :
Evaluator 3 :

Regards,
Secretary
Kay Ku

Staying Happily Together-Part 2

This is the second part of the award winning speech by CC Tan Soo Guan at the 2009 Toastmasters Division 'C' Humor Contest.


‘O” - other people’s money.

When we just got married, when love was blind, everything was about sharing. I still remember her saying this “Darling, your money is my money and my money is also your money.”

I cannot explain what happen next but I suppose this is a natural phenomenon that evolved over time. After a while, she said “Your money is my money and my money is also my money!”

OK, I can argue with her, fight with her or explain it but I have a big heart. So I said “Sure my Darling you can have all my money and you can also have all my debt!

What do I do next? Create more debts!

It did not take her long to come back and say, “Your money is your money and your debt is also your debt.” “My money is my money and don’t touch my money, er!”

I never face money issues after that.

D- Don’t be predictable.

During my father’s times, he has only to worry how to put food on the table. Nowadays we have to worry about mother’s day, father’s day, Valentine’s Day, birthday’s days, wedding anniversary, registration anniversary, first meeting anniversary, and first kiss anniversary and so on.

You see, women basically set up these dates as markers just to get constant reminders that their men love them.

Ladies, just ask any men here and they will tell you the same thing. Men don’t love their women only certain days of the year; we love you every day of the year!

So, why do you need to set up these markers like bobby traps and whenever we miss one of these dates, ka-boom, we are dead.

Lucky for me, when love was still blind and everything is forgivable. I already planned never to celebrate any special occasions on the exact date but always a few days earlier a few days later. After a while, weeks, than months, just to be unpredictable.

Have more celebrations initially to confuse them as to which celebration that was for. Later, to save money, you can slowly reduce the number of celebrations but they will still be confused whether they have celebrated it this year or were it last year. Or was that celebration done the year before?

Finally once you broken down all these markers, dates are irrelevant.

If you are confused with what I am saying, than I know this plan will work well for you.

Follow Toastmasters and guest, when two adult of different background stays together, there is bound to be conflict. But as long as we religiously follow GOD, G-O-D, I believe that more people will be staying happily together.

Before I leave the stage, I would like to clarify to all the male audience here. Guys please don’t misunderstand me. I am not afraid of my wife.OK! My only problem is my wife is not afraid of me.

Back to Mr. Toastmaster.

The Language Perfectionist: In Its Way, It's a Frequent Error

By Don Hauptman

A fan writes to disclose her "biggest all-time pet peeve": mistakes that involve its and it's. "I see these errors every day -- on the Internet, in newsletter articles, in e-mail. Everywhere."

Examples of such punctuation gaffes: "My cat is chasing it's [its is correct] tail again." Its [It's is correct] always sunny in Philadelphia.

The word it's is a contraction of it is. The apostrophe stands for the missing letter. And its is a possessive personal pronoun that is not a contraction. Thus, it contains no apostrophe, although many people insist on inserting one.

If you're in doubt about whether to use the apostrophe, mentally substitute it is and see if the sentence is still intelligible.

In Comma Sense, a fine guide to punctuation by Richard Lederer and John Shore, the authors cite these similar sentences with quite different meanings:

A clever dog knows its master.
A clever dog knows it's master.

To language sticklers, the abuse of apostrophes is especially irritating. A group of these curmudgeons even formed an Apostrophe Protection Society! Indeed, misuses abound, as I discovered when I saw this sentence recently on the menu of a popular fast-food chain: "Kid's make your own pizza."

Award Winning 2009 Toastmasters Division 'C' Humor Speech-Part 1

We managed to persuade CC Tan Soo Guan to part with his 1st Runner's Up speech at the 2009 Toastmaster Division 'C' Humor and Evaluation Contest to share with all of us. Enjoy!

Staying Happily Together – 2009 Division 'C' Contest, Segi College, Subang Jaya, Malaysia

I know Apa Rao from my first job. Whenever I see him, I would greet him like this, “Hey, Rao! How is life?” And he would reply, “Tan, What is life without a wife?"

Soon, we both move on with our careers and lost touch. One day I meet him at Sungai Wang Plaza and I exclaimed, “Hey Rao! I understand that you are married, congratulations! How is life?” He replies, “Aiyoo! Tan, what is life with such a wife?”

For those of you who laugh the loudest; I understand how you feel. It is like when you are single, your life is really miserable and after you are married, you wish you are dead.

Fellow Toastmasters and guests, tonight, based on my 16 years of married life, I am going to share with you 3 simple ways on how to stay happily together with your spouse.
All marriages are made in heaven, so to stay happily together, we must remember GOD. G-O-D.

G- Give and Take
In any good marriage there must be a give and take attitude. Example, when I find my wife feels strongly on certain issues, I will let her give all her views. I will just stand and take it. I will take it all if I must! She gives and I take!

Of cause, don’t get me wrong, I don’t take all the time. I also give. This is when it concern money. I give and she takes. When I give her more she takes more. Ah! Now I am smarter. I only give a little bit and the balance I keep it in my pocket.

Ever since both of us joined Toastmasters Club, I was trying to convince her to follow the Tabletopics rules whenever we need to discuss issues. She will have her say for 2 minutes. Ring. Then my turn for the next 2 minutes. Ring. Then her turn. Now, pause fillers like sob, sob, ahh, ahh will be included into the 2 minutes.

This way we can truly focus on the issues and not talk about the past, her mother-in-law and everything else but the real issue.

Of cause in reality things don’t work out as planned. When it is her turn, she will think she is giving her advance speech and speak non-stop for the next one hour! I am still trying to work it out.

Continue Part 2 tomorrow

Another Self Improvement Book for Toastmasters

A new year is upon us! Have you advance in life as much as you would like to this year? Than learn about the secret of success in your toastmaster skills and life in general from this free e-book.

Go to 'The Secret of Success' by William Atkinson at :

http://www.agiftaweek.com/atkinsonsecret/William_Atkinson-The_Secret_of_Success.pdf

Download or just read it. Enjoy!

Be Grateful

Are you feeling down and out with no energy to come to the next PD Toastmasters meeting in Seremban? Nothing seems to be going right for you? Life is pretty miserable?

Than you need to download this freebie '25 Reasons to be Grateful'. Read it and be happy with all the blessings you have now. Go to http://www.evolutionezine.com/25-Reasons-to-Be-Grateful.pdf .

Enjoy!

Port Dickson Toastmaster Club Meeting- 8/12/09

Our regular fortnightly meeting at Sg Ujong Club, Seremban on the 8th Dec 2009 was highly entertaining and rewarding. DTM Robert Tan demonstrated to the newer members how to give an award winning speech when he gave his CC#4 speech.

With his listening and analytical skills horned by years of toastmasters training, no one can beat ATMB Tan Lai Hock when it comes to speech evaluation.

That night was indeed an enjoyable and a great learning experience for all of us. Come celebrate the end of 2009 and join us for the last meeting for the year on the 22nd Dec. This will be a X'mas theme meeting. Come in your Santa and Santarina suits. See you there!


DTM Robert Tan showing his passions during his speech CC#4 (Note: DTM Robert Tan is repeating his CC.) With all his passions thrown into his speech, it is not surprising that DTM Robert Tan came out winner for the night for best prepared speech. DTM Robert Tan also sweep the table topics award. Come on guys, let us give him some fight the next time!

Our founder member ATMB Tan Lai Hock getting his best evaluator award. Congratulations to the Tan clan for sweeping all 3 awards.

Note: Our President CTM R. Kala is the 'Lady in Red'.

Membership Drive for Port Dickson Toastmasters Club

We just had a committee meeting in Sg Ujong Club, Seremban, Malaysia on the 8th December 2009. One area of concern is the lack of new members. The Committee and Advisors came up with a few suggestions.

1) CTM Yeoh Lian Geok has come up with a brilliant idea to encourage guests to convert to members. When any guest attends 3 consecutive meetings and joins after that, he/she will be given a refund of RM24.

2) ATMB Tan Lai Hock reminds the President and Toastmaster of the Evening not to invite any guests to speak at the meeting. Since public speaking is so 'scary', this will discourage any guests from returning.

3) CC Tan Soo Guan reminds everyone that the 2 types of people most of us try to avoid are from the MLM and Insurance industry. Why? In fact, they should be the first people you see especially when you are starting out in life! Because, these people want us to 'commit' or sign between the dotted line and we are scare to commit.
Out of goodness in our heart, we normally rush to ask guests to sign up immediately after the first meeting! Unfortunately from our action, that will be the last time we will see them!
We must encourage guests to attend at least 2 to 3 meetings before we officially invite them to 'sign' up.

Starting 2010, the club will focus on attracting and converting guests by implementing the above three suggestions.

Regards,
VPPR

The Language Perfectionist: To "Er..." Is Human

By Don Hauptman

I have long been fascinated by funny mistakes committed by people who should know better. Whenever I find an amusing goof, I seize upon it. "How did the copy editors and proofreaders and fact-checkers miss that one?" I think.

Many people share my passion, judging by the popularity of Jay Leno's "Headlines" segments, bloopers and outtakes on TV, and lists of errors, real or alleged, that circulate online. ("Dog for sale, eats anything, fond of children.")

Even more appealing is when the boner is followed by a witty or snarky retort, in the style of The New Yorker.

I'm working on a book -- a compilation of these gems. Here are a few samples:

Correction: "Some jesters in a British competition described in a page-one article last Monday ride on unicycles. The article incorrectly said they ride on unicorns."

The unicorns' union is filing a protest about those lost jobs.

Photo caption: "Karen Duplessis and her son, Patrick, are Patrick Henry's ancestors."

And they look so young, too.

Headline: "Though Frail, Castro Denies He's Dead"

But why should we believe him?

Newscaster: "We'll be talking to one of the producers of Law and Order SUV -- excuse me, SVU."

The cops are really cracking down on those gas guzzlers.

Newspaper article: "An island surrounded by water, Manhattan has long been without a beach, prompting locals to flee by bridges and tunnels during the dog days."

Thanks for differentiating it from all those islands surrounded by cottage cheese.

In an era of declining literacy, perhaps the laughter and ridicule that bloopers provoke are a hopeful sign that we still care about language. Keep your eyes and ears open, and you'll start spotting them, too.

Lessons from PT Barnum-Free E-Book

Would you like to learn from the creator of the "Greatest Show on Earth"?

Learn from PT Barnum in e-book, audio book and workbook format about fundamentals of accumulating wealth, and more importantly ...holding on to it.

The title is called "The Art of Money Getting - Golden Rule Package" and it's based on the work of legendary marketer and "Money Getter" PT Barnum.and here is your link:

http://www.ptbarnumspeaks.com/thankyoupt091030.html

You may download to your computer. Enjoy!

More Free E-book

Dr Joe Vitale ('The Secret') latest offering "Attract Money Now". A hard cover version will set you back US29.95. Enjoy.

http://www.mrfire.com/attractmoneynow//AttractMoneyNow-book-PDF-final.pdf

Word of the Day- Ebullient

Ebullient (ih-BUL-yunt) -- from the Latin for "boiling up" -- means overflowing with fervor, enthusiasm, or excitement.

Example: "But often your customers, although ebullient about your product or service, aren't able to express their enthusiasm very well in writing. So what do you do?"

Self Improvement E-Books

Self Improvement E-Books. Download at this links. Enjoy

a) Think and Grow Rich -Napoleon Hill
http://30daywealthmaps.s3.amazonaws.com/Think_and_Grow_Rich.pdf

b) The Magic Story -Frederick Van Rensselaer Dey
http://30daywealthmaps.s3.amazonaws.com/The%20Magic%20Story.pdf

c)The Science of Getting Rich-Wallace D. Wattles
http://30daywealthmaps.s3.amazonaws.com/The%20Science%20of%20Getting%20Rich.pdf

Perfection vs Excellence

Perfection is being right.
Excellence is willing to be wrong.

Perfection is fear
Excellence is taking a risk.

Perfection is anger and frustration.
Excellence is powerful.

Perfection is control.
Excellence is spontaneous.

Perfection is judgement.
Excellence is accepting.

Perfection is taking.
Excellence is giving.

Perfection is doubt.
Excellence is confidence.

Perfection is pressure.
Excellence is natural.

Perfection is the destination.
Excellence is the journey.

The Language Perfectionist: A Concatenation of Confusables

By Don Hauptman

In my reading, I frequently encounter misused and confused words. Here are five recent sightings, most from major newspapers:

"Anyone who passes even feint praise on anything containing Adam Sandler..."

The writer means faint praise -- not very much. A feint is a deceptive or diversionary action.

"Now, watching a young and inexperienced American president appear to waiver on his commitment...."

This is a common mix-up. To be indecisive is to waver. A waiver is a relinquishment of a right or claim.

"Unaware of the possibility of evoking Section 1732, I set up a private transfer treaty to move him to an American prison."

To evoke means to summon or call to mind. The correct word in this context is invoke, to cite as justification.

"If pot were legal, the beer industry would loose money."

The distinction should be obvious. But an amazing number of people confuse lose, to mislay, with loose, the antonym of tight.

"[When I studied foreign languages,] absurdity acted as the impotence for comprehension and eventual memorization."

Somehow, the desired word impetus, meaning stimulus, morphed into impotence. My guess is that this was the result of an unintended Microsoft Word "auto-correction." Computers are useful tools but they can also create new problems. There's no substitute for human intelligence, common sense, and proofreading.

Word of the Day Expunge

To expunge (ik-SPUNJ) -- from the Latin for "to blot out" -- is to wipe out or obliterate.

Example: "To live without limiting what you can achieve, you must recognize your constraints and then act to expunge them."

The Language Perfectionist: Let's Split this Scene

By Don Hauptman

A contentious issue among language enthusiasts is the use of the split infinitive. Before reviewing the arguments of the two sides, let's look at a few examples:

"It is even possible to legally download textbooks free, thanks to some new sites and services."

"This is a chance to constructively harness the idealism of thousands of Americans..."

"In New York, if a lethal agent is detected, the city plans to immediately distribute drugs to counter the bug."

"On several occasions, Israelis have managed to temporarily suppress violence."

For centuries, language purists insisted that an infinitive must never be split. Then came the reaction: Permissivists denounced the prohibition as a "superstition."

A few writers on language take a middle position. I'm in this camp. The split-infinitive taboo is a convention of the language, so let's respect it -- unless the result sounds awkward. All the above examples could be rephrased to avoid the splits. On the other hand, rephrasing would be difficult or impossible with this sort of sentence: "Analysts expect the stock price to more than triple next year."

But clumsy sentences can also be created by splitting the infinitive. I found this example in a concert program: "Sousa marches often seem to not particularly relate to their titles."

Recently, an eloquent case for nonsplitting was made by a reader (Richard Palumbo) in a letter to The New York Times Book Review: "Split infinitives are like putting an insurmountable obstacle in the way of a speeding train that must stop to clear the tracks before picking up speed again. We lose the thrust and impact when we separate preposition and verb..."

That makes sense to me. So my advice is simple. Follow the rule unless a good reason exists to break it. I sometimes wonder if anything would have been lost if the Star Trek mission had been "to go boldly where no man has gone before."

Happy Deepavali

Port Dickson Toastmasters Club wishes all Hindu members and friends a Happy Deepavali, the Festival of Lights.

Word of the Day Laissez-faire

Laissez-faire (lay-zay-FARE) -- French for "allow to do" -- is the economic policy of allowing markets to be free of intervention by the government.

Example : "To the laissez-faire businessman, freedom means an end to all government regulation. To the communist, freedom can be achieved only when individual incentive has been crushed and 'the people' own everything."

Word of the Day- Parsimonious

Parsimonious (par-suh-MOH-nee-us) is another way of saying miserly or excessively frugal.

Example : "Stingy rich people are parsimonious because they enjoy being so. Pinching pennies isn't a financial planning strategy for them, it's a twisted hobby."

Word of the Day Consternation

Consternation (kon-ster-NAY-shun) -- from the Latin for "to throw into confusion" -- is the state of being utterly bewildered.

Example : "Imagine my consternation (and embarrassment) when the new CEO declined to come downstairs to the conference room to meet with us."

Congratulations to Tan Soo Guan, CC

Congratulations to Tan Soo Guan, CC for being the 1st Runner-Up Division Humor Contest Winner. This contest involved 7 Areas with a total of about 30 Klang Valley clubs
Tan Soo Guan, CC receiving his Champion Area Humor Contest Award from Area Governor Suresh

Tan Soo Guan, CC receiving his 1st Runner-Up Division Humor Contest Award from Division Governor Barry Ong.

The Language Perfectionist: More Literary Devices

By Don Hauptman

In a previous column, I discussed figures of speech that writers and speakers employ as rhetorical flourishes.

The list is long, so here's a second take. For some reason, perhaps because of their classical roots, many begin with the letter A.

anacoluthon (an-uh-kuh-LOO-thon) -- A departure from normal grammatical structure or sequence. Example: "Either you go ... but we'll see."

antiphrasis (an-TIF-ruh-sis) -- The use of a word to mean its opposite. Example: referring to an enemy as "my friend." This is more commonly called irony or sarcasm.

apophasis (uh-POF-uh-sis) -- Claiming not to know what to say. Example: when someone receiving an award protests, "I'm at a loss for words." Or slyly announcing that one will not address a subject. Example: "I won't even mention my opponent's prison record." The former is also called aporia and the latter paralipsis.

aposiopesis (ap-uh-sy-uh-PEE-sis) -- An abrupt break in mid-sentence, where the speaker leads up to a word or phrase and then doesn't utter it. Example: "Stop right now or I'll ...."

asyndeton (uh-SIN-dih-ton) -- Omitting the conjunctions that would normally be required. A famous example: Julius Caesar's "I came, I saw, I conquered."

The Language Perfectionist: A Gaggle of Gaffes

By Don Hauptman

Mistakes can be a good thing. They teach us what to avoid. The trick, though, is to learn by observing others make them.

With that goal in mind, here's another roundup of misspellings, misunderstandings, and other misuses -- all found via Internet search, but equally frequent in print:

-"I just find it as ridiculous as any other hair-brained conspiracy theory."

Whether hair-brained or hairbrained, it's wrong. The correct word is harebrained -- that is, the brain of a rabbit. It's true that hare was once spelled hair, but that was 400 years ago. Don't be harebrained; spell it correctly!

-"I do have a photo of his name on the marquis of the theater where he gave his last performance."

The canopy of a theater is a marquee (mar-KEE). A French nobleman is a marquis (mar-KEE or, in the anglicized pronunciation, MAR-qwis).

-"The people who do not have money or marketable skills -- the poor, the elderly, the frail, the uneducated -- fall between the cracks with no place, no role, and no money to buy what they need."

This is a commonly garbled metaphor. Something that is forgotten or overlooked falls into or through the cracks, not between them.

-"This is unchartered territory for ... presidential candidates, given the fact that the whole primary season starts ... three days after New Year's ...."

An organization that lacks a document outlining its principles and functions is unchartered. The word wanted here is uncharted.

-"Juliana, I enjoy this new newsletter format so much better than the daily newsletter which I felt obliged to peruse quickly so as to have time to do research."

The word peruse means to read carefully, and that takes time. It's often misinterpreted, as in the above example, as meaning the opposite: to read rapidly, to scan to get the gist. Incidentally, it's considered pretentious to use peruse when read will suffice.

Word of the Day

Inane (ih-NANE) -- from the Latin for "empty" -- means foolish or pointless; lacking sense or meaning.

Example: "When I saw Liz approaching that morning, I assumed I was in for some inane small talk. But it turned out she is a smart, well spoken, and interesting person who has added something to my life."

Congratulation to Tan Soo Guan, CC

Congratulations to Tan Soo Guan, CC for his 2nd placing in the Division C Humor Contest. There are a total of 7 other Areas participating in this Division contest. Photos to follow later.

The Language Perfectionist: Whose Rules?

By Don Hauptman

In matters of grammar and usage, it's not always easy to know what's correct.

In France, a government-run Academy serves as the official authority. Here in America, no single authority has been appointed to give us definitive answers. We must consider various sources, sometimes conflicting, and make our own decisions.

Language authorities generally fall into one of two schools. The prescriptivists offer explicit guidance. The descriptivists simply record how language is used, without passing judgment.

The second group might be called permissivists. At least some of its members apparently believe that no rules should exist. If enough people use a word incorrectly, it somehow comes to be "right." Thus, for example, it's okay for disinterested to mean uninterested, instead of -- or in addition to -- its primary meaning of impartial. Many dictionaries have capitulated on this point. But by this reasoning, ain't is acceptable. After all, so many people use it!

If following a rule creates an awkward result, you might need to break it. But another choice often exists. For example, a venerable rule forbids beginning a sentence with however. The alternative: It's usually possible to respect the rule by substituting but or another word or phrase. Or by relocating however within the sentence.

In general, I advise observing traditional standards, unless a compelling reason exists to disregard them. Here's why:

1. Customs and conventions aren't irrelevant. They're part of civilized society. I call this "The Necktie Principle." No good reasons exist to wear ties, and one could cite several arguments against them. But a man in the corporate world who abandoned ties would likely come to regret that decision. So it is with language. Even the permissivists don't spell physician with an F, even though it would be more "logical."

2. We're judged by how we use language. In your career and social life, you're viewed as educated or uneducated, literate or illiterate, on the basis of how well you speak and write. Like it or not, such first impressions help determine your status, advancement, and romantic success.

3. It doesn't pay to be perceived as wrong, even if you can prove that you're "right." If you flout a rule, you may have a case. But it's impractical to justify your position in conversation or in most written work. For instance, if you use enormity to mean large and your listener advocates its traditional meaning of "a great evil," it would be a bit awkward to haul out a dictionary containing the permissive definition.

As you might guess, I incline toward the prescriptivist camp. But I recognize that language changes, and that the rules may be bent when necessary. As with many things in life, common sense should prevail.

Word of the Day - Inherent

An inherent (in-HERE-unt) quality, attribute, or characteristic is one that is permanent -- inseparably attached or connected. The word is derived from the Latin for "to stick."

Example : "Self-publishing is not inherently better than traditional publishing. Nor is the reverse true."

Words About Words

By Don Hauptman

In this column, I routinely use words that describe aspects of language. But these terms are often misunderstood and confused. Here's a brief guide, followed by a few tips to improve your writing.

-grammar refers to the rules and structure of language, the way words combine to form sentences. Example of a grammatical error: "He done gone."

-syntax refers more specifically to the order of words within a sentence. Example of a syntactical error, as might be made by someone learning English as a second language: "I am here for the job to apply."

-usage refers to the way words and phrases are used. Often, a mistake is called a grammatical error when it's really an error of usage. Example of a usage error: the widespread misuse of literally when "not literally" is meant.

-style refers to how something is expressed. Two writers might say the same thing in different ways. Neither is incorrect, but one style may be more suitable to the context. For instance, one could write "the murky water" or, as Homer phrased it more poetically, "the wine-dark sea."

-rhetoric refers to the use of language to achieve a goal, most often to persuade. Today, the word is often used pejoratively to describe bombastic or insincere verbiage, as in "The senator's speech was mere rhetoric." But the traditional meaning of the word is valuable and should be preserved.

Some language issues can be characterized as matters of right and wrong. Others are discretionary. Numerous ways of expressing a point exist, but some are likely to be superior.

One lesson I've learned as a writer for 35 years is that every early draft can be improved. If the document is important, print it out. You'll see things on paper that you miss on screen. Edit with a pen or pencil, then plug in your corrections. Repeat as needed. Allowing the document to marinate overnight or for a few days often helps, as does reading it aloud or asking someone for a critique.

[Ed Note: For more than three decades, Don Hauptman was an award-winning independent direct-response copywriter and creative consultant. He is author of The Versatile Freelancer, an e-book published by AWAI that shows writers and other creative professionals how to diversify their careers into speaking, consulting, training, and critiquing.]

Quote of the Day

"The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people."

-- Theodore Roosevelt, 26th U.S. president

Selamat Hari Raya Adilfitri

Port Dickson Toastmasters Club wishes all Muslim Toastmasters and Friends a fantastic Selamat Hari Raya Adilfitri

Quote of the Day

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul."
-- Douglas MacArthur, General

Empowering Others Part 2

by Brian Tracy

Satisfy the Deepest Needs
The deepest need that each person has is for self-esteem, a sense of being important, valuable and worthwhile. Everything that you do in your interactions with others affects their self-esteem in some way. You already have an excellent frame of reference to determine the things that you can do to boost the self-esteem and therefore the sense of personal power of those around you. Give them what you'd like for yourself.

Continually Express Appreciation
Perhaps the simplest way to make another person feel good about himself or herself is your continuous expressions of appreciation for everything that person does for you, large or small. Say "thank you" on every occasion.Thank your spouse for everything that he or she does for you. Thank your children for their cooperation and support in everything that they do around the house. Thank your friends for the smallest acts of kindnesses. The more you thank other people for doing things for you, the more things those other people will want to do.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, continually look for ways to make people feel more valuable and important. Say things to others that you would like others to say to you.

Second, express appreciation for everything anyone does for you, large or small. Say the words, "thank you" on every occasion.

Coming Club's Meeting Postpone to 29/09/09

In view of the long holidays in conjunction with Hari Raya Puasa on the 20/09/09 till the 22/09/09, the next meeting is postpone to the 29/09/09. All members and Guests, please take note.

Empowering Others Part 1

by Brian Tracy

Get the Cooperation of Others
Empowering people is the key to building a high-performance team. Once you empower people by learning how to motivate and inspire them, they will want to work with you to help you achieve your goals in everything you do. Your ability to enlist the knowledge, energy and resources of others enables you to become a multiplication sign, to leverage yourself so that you accomplish far more than the average person and in a far shorter period of time.

Determine the Key People to Empower
There are three types of people that you want to and need to empower on a regular basis. They are, first of all, the people closest to you: your family, your friends, your spouse and your children. Second are your work relationships: your staff, your coworkers, your peers, your colleagues and even your boss. Third are all the other people that you interact with in your day-to-day life: your customers, your suppliers, your banker, the people with whom you deal in stores, restaurants, airplanes, hotels and everywhere else. In each case, your ability to get people to help you is what will make you a more powerful and effective person.

Always Be Positive
Empower means "putting power into," and it can also mean "bringing energy and enthusiasm out of." So the first step in empowering people is to refrain from doing anything that disempowers them or reduces their energy and enthusiasm for what they are doing.There are things you can do every single day to empower people and make them feel good about themselves.

Division Humor and Evaluation Contests 3/10/09

The Division Humor and Evaluation Contests will be held on the 3rd October 2009 at Segi College, beside Summit Complex at 1.30pm.
If you are keen to lend your support to our Area Humor Contest Champion Tan Soo Guan, CC , please contact our President, R Kala, CTM on 017-6378945 to reserve your tickets.

Word of the Day-Crotchety

Someone who is crotchety (KROCH-ih-tee) is cranky, bad-tempered, or capriciously stubborn. The word is derived from "crotchet," which once meant a fancy or whim.

Example: "There is nothing worse than going into a meeting tired and crotchety. I would rather not go at all."

Quote of the Day

"A person is not defeated by their opponents but by themselves."
-- Jan Christiaan Smuts

Quote of the Day

"Long-range goals keep you from being frustrated by short-term failures."
-- J.C. Penney, Retailer

Gila-Gila Dinner on 5th September 2009

15 members, ex-members and guests having a gila night at Weng Heong Restaurant. Surprise occasions to celebrate with the Area C2 humor contest winner CC Tan Soo Guan and a belated birthday for ACS Lee Kah Tor.CC Tan Soo Guan giving his winning speech "Staying Happily Together"
Everyone having a good laugh
DTM Robert Tan giving his seal of approval to CC Tan Soo Guan to participate in the Division level.ACS Rosa Phua brought along a canine supporter to cheer the winner!
The love birds, ACB Donna Kat and ACS Lee Kah Tor makes a perfect couple

ACS Lee Kah Tor celebrating his belated 67 years old birthday.


Join us for the next fellowship! Where everything is fun! (Photos courtesy of PK Koh)

Word of the Day-Magalog

The magalog (MAG-uh-log) -- a combination of "magazine" and "catalog" -- is one of many direct-mail formats used by marketers. It looks like a magazine, complete with cover, and may have anywhere from 12 to more than 100 pages. It includes a combination of editorial content and promotional copy ... all of it designed to get the prospect's attention and persuade him to buy the product or products being sold.

Example (as used by Clayton Makepeace today): "Check out this promotion. It's a magalog titled 'Retirement Wealth Builder' for Phillips Publishing's Retirement Letter."

The Best Practical Tips for Overcoming Stage Fright Part 3

by Chris Widener

6. Understand that most of the people in the audience would be scared to death to give a speech too, and are glad that it is you and not them!For the occasional speaker, it is okay to say, “Excuse my nerves, I am not used to this.” When I hear that, I root for the guy, not cut him apart (Unless I paid big bucks to be there.)

7. Make ‘em laugh.
That is the best way to start with a crowd. I have a joke that I start 95% of all of my speeches with. It is a guaranteed laugh and always settles the crowd in. Sometimes it has nothing to do with my topic and I just say, “What does that have to do with my topic? Nothing, but I just love that joke!” Then I go into my speech, and we are all a little more relaxed because we have laughed together.
________________________________________

Word of the Day

To fester (FES-ter) -- from the Latin -- is (1) to become inflamed or infected, as a sore, or (2) to rankle, as a feeling of resentment.

Example: "Give your distress a voice instead of holding it in and allowing it to fester and intensify."

The Best Practical Tips for Overcoming Stage Fright Part 2

by Chris Widener

3. Breathe!Fear is a bodily reflex and one that you can overcome. When you get afraid, you start to breathe in short, fast breaths. Before you speak, or while you are being introduced, you should sit quietly and breathe slow, deep breaths.

4. Tell yourself that the world won’t fall apart if you do a rotten job.Face it; unless you are delivering the State of the Union Address, the world will keep right on revolving if you don’t do well. Even as a professional speaker there are times when I don’t do as well as I want to (Very, very rarely though - keep those bookings coming!). People usually appreciate it anyway and you’ll keep right on going.

5. Understand that you are your own worst critic.I had some friends who used to play in all the hot clubs in New York City and I would occasionally go with them to watch them perform. Afterwards they would say, “Oh man, we were terrible tonight!” I hadn’t thought so. The audience hadn’t thought so either. Most people aren’t going to come to your presentation with the goal of picking you apart. So you shouldn’t pick you apart either. Obviously, this is mainly for the one giving the occasional talk, not the professional speaker.

Word to the Day: Invincible

“Invincible” (in-VIN-suh-bul) – from the Latin – means incapable of being conquered, defeated, or subdued.

Example (as used by Edward Gibbon): “My early and invincible love of reading I would not exchange for all the riches of India.”

The Best Practical Tips for Overcoming Stage Fright Part 1

by Chris Widener

As one who does some speech coaching, I have heard all of the crazy ideas on how to conquer stage fright, but I think in more basic ideas. Actually, just a few. Here they are:

1. Know your stuff!The best thing you can do is to be overwhelmingly, thoroughly, and completely prepared and in mastery of your material. Much of the fear comes from wondering if you will make a mistake, or if the audience will know more than you. There is one sure way to beat that and that is by knowing your material inside and out.

2. Focus on getting through the first five minutes.That is where the problem lies. Rarely do you see someone who seems fearful all the way through his or her presentation, do you? No, they settle in and get comfortable after a while. Don’t look at it as a fifty-minute speech. Look at it as a five-minute speech.

Word to the Day: Bravado

“Bravado” (bruh-VAH-doh) – from the Spanish – is a pretentious, swaggering display of courage.

Example (as used by William Styron in the short story “Rat Beach”): “When I was seventeen, bravado, mingled with what must have been a death wish, made me enlist in the officer-training program of the Marine Corps.”

Joke of the Day

Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

One Student: “Because George still had the axe in his hand."

Quote of the Day

"To get the full value of a joy, you must have somebody to divide it with."

-- Mark Twain, Writer

10 Commandments of Humor Part 5

by Bill Stainton

9. Thou shalt develop thy own styleThis is something that only comes with practice and experience. The way it normally happens is that you start off by emulating the style of those you admire (not by taking their actual material, however - see Commandment #8!). You emulate their speech patterns, their phrasing, maybe even their clothing style. Eventually though, pieces of your own personality start creeping in, almost without your knowing it. You’ll find you’re more comfortable with a certain delivery, and with a certain type of humor. Your audiences will respond better to some things than to others. Your job as a speaker is to listen to all of this internal and external feedback, and to let the changes happen. Eventually you’ll discover that you’ve developed your own unique style. And then, if you’re really good, you can bet there will be somebody new out their listening, who’s emulating you!

10. Thou shalt exercise thy comedic filter
What do I mean by “filter”? I mean the way you look at the world. And by “exercising your comedy filter,” I mean opening yourself up to see the comedy that is always present in the world. Have you ever known somebody to whom funny things just seem to happen naturally? This is the person who’s always rushing in saying, “You’ll never believe what happened to me this morning,” and it’s always something hilarious. In my experience, the things that are happening to this person happen to all of us; it’s just that this person notices them, remembers them, and tells us about them! This is what professional comedy writers do all the time. Since their livelihood depends on funny stuff, they become naturally attuned to it. It’s like when you buy a new car, and all of a sudden you notice that on the road there are now hundreds of the exact same car you just bought! Has this ever happened to you? Well I’ve got news for you: those cars were always there! You just didn’t notice them before, because you didn’t have that particular filter activated. It became activated when you actually bought the car. It was fresh in your mind, and you were open to it. It’s the same thing with comedy. If you’re actively looking for humorous personal stories, you will start to notice the funny things happening all around—and to—you! And when you do notice them, please, please, please record them! Either on an actual voice recorder (I carry a digital one with me all the time!) or in a notebook. Otherwise, you will forget them, I promise. And when you're doing this for a living, you can't afford to let the good stuff get away!

Joke of the Day

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?

PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Quote of the Day

"A goal is a dream with a deadline."
-- Napolean Hill, Author

10 Commandments of Humor Part 4

by Bill Stainton

7. Thou shalt not be wed to thy humor
Here’s something I drill into my comedy writing and comedian clients: jokes are expendable!!! Don’t fall so in love with your material (humorous or otherwise, for that matter) that you’re unwilling to let go of it if it’s not working. I know of one comedian who has been using the same joke for the past ten years, and I’ve never heard it get a laugh! When I asked him about it, he said, “I love that joke, and one of these days the audience is going to realize how brilliant it is!” I wish I had his kind of optimism! Here’s the pattern I use: Once I develop a new piece of material—a story, let’s say—I’ll try it out with a few friends. I’ll pay particular attention to the reaction the story gets. Then, I’ll go home and revise the story based on the response. Then I’ll try the revised version with some different friends. If the response is positive, I’ll try the story out in front of an audience. If it still works, it’s in (although I’ll keep honing it). If, on the other hand, it’s not getting positive response after two or three revisions, I’ll trash it! Hey, I can always come up with another story!

8. Thou shalt not steal
I wish I could write that this one goes without saying, but some people seem to think that once a story is told on the platform, it becomes public domain. Let’s be absolutely clear on this. A speaker’s personal story belongs to that speaker, and nobody else! I don’t care if their story would be perfect in your presentation. Come up with your own story! Believe me, it will be better. It will be better because it’s yours, and because you’ll tell it in a way that nobody else on the planet possibly can, because it didn’t happen to anybody else on the planet! If you’re using somebody else’s story, then sooner or later, somebody’s going to recognize it. And whether they call you on it or not, you’ll lose credibility in that person’s eyes. And they’ll tell other people. Is that really the kind of reputation you want? Wouldn’t you rather have the reputation of somebody who has a range of personal stories that are unique, well crafted, and perfectly suited to your own unique message? The choice is yours.

PD Toastmasters Club 25th Anniversary 2009

Toastmasters International officially recognized Port Dickson Toastmasters Club's 25th anniversary in 2009. Please go to this TI link to view the whole list.

http://www.toastmasters.org/ToastmastersMagazine/HallofFame_1/May-2009.aspx

10 Commandments of Humor Part 3

by Bill Stainton
5. Thou shalt craft thy humor effectivelyAlthough I’m a huge fan of using real, personal stories on the platform, I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes reality needs a helping hand. For example, reality doesn’t always provide the perfect punchline with which to end your stories. So you make one up! Listen, you’re not Tom Brokaw. You’re not reporting the news. You’re trying to get a larger message across to your audience in the most effective way possible, and sometimes that may mean stretching the truth, eliminating details, or adding characters. In short, you need to think of reality as the starting point for your story, and embellish accordingly. Now, some people get caught up on this point. I’ve had clients say to me, “But that’s not the way it happened!” To which I reply, “Your audience doesn’t know, and they don’t care. And your audience is who you’re there for!” What I’m saying is that your job, your obligation, is to get your message across to your audience in a way that has as much meaning for them as possible. And if one version of your story stretches the truth a bit, but adds more meaning (or memorability, or significance), then that’s the way you’ve got to go. Otherwise, you’re just serving yourself.

6. Thou shalt let the audience laughThis can be a particularly tough commandment for people who are just starting out using humor in front of an audience. But I’ve also seen pros who should know better abuse this one. Here’s the trap. You’re not sure of a particular piece of humor; maybe it’s something you’ve just added, maybe it received a less-than-stellar response last time, maybe you’re just not used to using humor in your presentations. For whatever reason, though, you’re not positive this “bit” will get a laugh. So what do you do? You get to the end of the bit (the punchline), and immediately go on to your next sentence. In other words, you’re assuming there is going to be an awkward silence instead of a laugh, and you make a pre-emptive strike by covering up the anticipated silence with your own voice! The audience doesn’t have an opportunity to laugh, even if they want to! This, as you may have surmised, is a no-no! Instead, you’ve got to trust your material enough to give it a chance at success. This means getting to the end of the bit—and then stopping! Let the audience laugh! You’ll be surprised how often they actually will laugh, once you give them the opportunity! And if you’re following Commandment #2, and using your humor to make a point (rather than solely to get a laugh), it’s not going to matter if the laugh doesn’t occur. In that case, you are simply pausing to let the story (and message) sink in, and then continuing with your presentation. The audience will never know that they muffed their line! But I think you’ll find that, given the chance, they’ll come through for you nine times out of ten! Okay, maybe eight, but those are still pretty good odds!

Humor and Evaluation Contests 2009

It is the Humor and Evaluation Contests time again! The club level contests will be held on 25th August and the Area level will be held on the 5th September 2009.

Please contact Vallie (012-6067495) our Contest Chair or Kay Ku (017-2910422) for further informations.

The Language Perfectionist: The Perfect Blend

The Language Perfectionist: The Perfect Blend
By Don Hauptman

You hear and use them every day, perhaps without realizing why they’re special. I’m referring to what linguists call blends: new words created via the marriage of two other words.

Familiar words of this type include the computer term bit (binary + digit), brunch (breakfast + lunch), smog (smoke + fog), and Spam – the edible kind (spiced + ham).

They’ve also been called telescope words and centaur words. Lewis Carroll called them “portmanteau words.” That reference is now rather obscure, but back in the day, a portmanteau was a traveling bag that opened into two compartments. Thus, as Carroll defined the term in Through the Looking-Glass: “two meanings packed up into one word.” And, by the way, several of Carroll’s own blended-word coinages are still used, most notably chortle (chuckle + snort).

Decades ago, Time magazine and the gossip columnist Walter Winchell were known for devising new blends, some of which survived while others faded away. Among them: cinemactress, frauditor, genethics, guesstimate, and infanticipating.

If you keep your eyes and ears open, you’ll discover that the list of blend words is surprisingly long: advertorial, camcorder, Chunnel, glasphalt, infomercial, Jazzercise, minicam, pixel, and sitcom, for example. Because new things are constantly being created, and they all need names, the roster will surely continue to grow.

Here are a few more, the origins of which may not be immediately apparent:

guacamole: from the Aztec ahuacamolli – a conflation of ahucatl (avocado) + molli (sauce or paste).
happenstance: from happen + circumstance.
Tanzania: from the names of two countries, Tanganyika and Zanzibar, that merged in 1964.
Velcro: from the French velours (velvet) + croche (hooked). The ubiquitous fastener was invented in Switzerland.

10 Commandments of Humor Part 2

Stainton's 10 Commandments of Humor (Part 2)
Bill Stainton

3. Thou shalt avoid jokes……unless you tell them really, really well! Let me rephrase that. Unless other people have told you that you tell them really, really well! Look, we might as well be honest about this—most people don’t tell jokes well. I know I don’t—and for heaven’s sake, I’m a professional! In my mind, jokes have three serious flaws that make them a risky choice for all but the most seasoned and confident platform speakers.

First, they’re difficult for most people to remember properly, even without the added pressure of that unblinking audience. And if you don’t have the joke down cold—and I mean so cold that somebody could wake you out of a sound sleep and you could still tell it flawlessly—you’re probably not going to tell it well.

But even if you do tell the joke well, that doesn’t get around the second flaw: jokes are not unique! Unless you wrote the joke yourself, there’s a chance that at least a percentage of your audience has heard it before. If it’s a good enough joke, other speakers are probably using it already. And really, do you want to be known as “another speaker who’s telling that stupid parrot joke”?

The third flaw with jokes is that jokes exist solely to get a laugh (see Commandment #2). If it doesn’t get a laugh, you bomb. There’s no other option. The audience knows you’ve told a joke, that it was supposed to get a laugh, and that it didn’t. It’s called bombing, and it’s a bad feeling. When you do it in front of 500 people, it’s a really bad feeling!

4. Thou shalt develop personal storiesPersonal stories, or anecdotes, neatly bypass virtually all of the problems inherent to jokes. First, your personal stories are unique to you. Your audience will not have heard them from five other speakers (unless they are five very unethical speakers—see Commandment #8). And because you're telling stories that happened in your life, you're letting your audience "in." You're revealing something of yourself; thus, you are helping the audience to create a personal bond with you, Second, your personal stories are easier to remember. You’re not likely to forget what comes next, because you were there! (An added benefit to this is that you'll probably sound more spontaneous and conversational when telling the story, because instead of simply reciting something you've memorized, you'll literally be "re-creating" the event each time you tell it!) Also, these are the stories you’ve already told dozens—maybe even hundreds—of times to your family, your co-workers, and your friends. Yes, you’ll probably need to tweak them a bit for the platform, but by and large you know how to tell these stories! And third, if you’re following Commandment #2, you’re using your stories to illustrate your message. This means that even if the story doesn’t get a big laugh, it still has use as an example, and you can just move on as if everything is exactly the way you planned it to be. Believe me, this works!

10 Commandments of Humor Part 1

Stainton's 10 Commandments of Humor (Part 1)
Bill Stainton

1. Thou shalt target thy audience
This is the first and great commandment! You must know who your audience is, and choose your humor appropriately. This doesn’t mean just knowing who the group is, or even who the individuals who comprise the audience are. It means understanding the occasion, knowing the back-story of the group, assessing the dynamics of the event. I was speaking to a group whose venerable and much beloved founder had just passed away the week before. Now, I don’t do a lot of death related material, but you can bet I went over my entire presentation with a fine-toothed comb just to make sure there was nothing that might offend this audience, given the situation. I also made sure to work my way into the humor a bit more gently than I normally would. The point is that without this information, I could have gotten myself into a deep, deep hole!

It's also important to know your audience so that you can gear your material specifically towards them. For example, one of the workshops I offer is called How the Pros Write Comedy. I've delivered this workshop to many groups, and while the basic information stays the same, my approach - as well as the examples I'll use - will vary depending on whether I'm speaking to, say, a group of television writers or the editors of a religious newsletter (which, incidentally, turned out to be one of the best and most creative groups I've worked with!). The key to remember is that every audience is different; therefore, to one degree or another, every presentation you give should be different as well!

2. Thou shalt use thy humor to make a point
There was a time when I thought everybody knew this, but I continue to see speakers telling jokes whose connection to their message is peripheral at best. Now, I’m not saying you can’t throw the occasional one-liner or ad-lib in for a quick laugh. But if you’re going to launch into a story of any length, you’d better not be doing it just to get a chuckle! If you are doing this, you are committing 2 egregious platform sins.

First, you’re setting yourself up to bomb! Think about it: if there’s an element of your presentation that exists solely to get a laugh, what happens if it doesn’t get that laugh? You bomb! You know you’ve bombed, the audience knows you’ve bombed, and because the only point of the story was to get a laugh, you’ve got nowhere else to go. That’s not a good feeling. If, on the other hand, that same story is designed to exemplify one of the points of your presentation, it no longer matters if it gets a laugh!!! Sure, it’s nice, but the story no longer depends on it.

The second egregious platform sin of using a lengthy story just to get a laugh is that you’re wasting your audience’s time! Unless you were hired strictly to entertain, the audience is expecting to get useful information from your presentation. They’re investing their time, and they expect a return on that investment. When you use humor to make a point, you are providing both good entertainment and a good return on your audience's investment.

The Power of Silence

You might find this book by Horatio W. Dresser interesting. Download it!

http://www.beliefbusterkit.com/ebooks/PowerofSilence.pdf

More Freebies

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Discovering Your Talents-Brian Tracy

A free report on goals by Brian Tracy. Title is "Discovering Your Talents". Copy link to download and enjoy!

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4 More Days to Installation Night 2nd August 2009

Congratulations to all whom have confirm your attendance. You are the happening people!! I am sure you will have a great night this Sunday. We have an exciting program all line up for you. The Tabletopics competition will be address to only past and present Toastmasters but the humor competition is open to all. So remember to register yourselves for the humor competition at the door.

A quick reminder that our SAA will be calling the dinner to order at 7.30pm sharp, followed by a toast to our Agong. Dinner should start at 7.35pm. Our official ceremonies and competitions start at 8.30pm and dancing should begin at about 10.00pm.

Congratulations again on your wise decision. Like a past attendee used to say "you will never ever be bored in a Toastmasters dinner".

Venue : Royale Bintang Resort & Spa
Place : Chinese Restaurant M Floor
Type : Buffet Dinner
Date : 2nd August 2009 on Sunday
Time : 7.00 Arrival (Dinner starts at 7.30pm) till 11.30pm
Dress : Formal
Price : RM40.00/pax

For further informations please contact Tan Soo Guan
Email- sgtan@pamitran.com
Phone- 019-3816300

Word of the Day

Word to the Wise: Jocular

"Jocular" (JOK-yuh-lur) - from the Latin - means facetious; comic or jesting.

Example (as used by Don Hauptman today): "Unless the writer is Tarzan or Frankenstein's monster, he meant to say methinks, an archaic form of 'I think' or 'It seems to me' that, nowadays, is used only in a jocular fashion."

The Language Perfectionist

The Language Perfectionist: A Multitude of Misuses
By Don Hauptman

Here's another compilation of errors, all spotted during my routine reading of various print publications:

"There's only one institution capable of holding these leaders' feet to the fire: the national press corp."
The correct word here is not corp., an abbreviation of corporation, but corps (pronounced "core") - a group of people acting under direction, as in Marine Corps.

Letter to Editor I: "Children these days are taught that simply trying your best at an activity is all that is needed to enjoy the spoils of victory, regardless of the true outcome. These lessons are re-enforced when adults are insulated from the consequences of their actions... ."
The writer probably isn't referring to a police activity, so he should have used the word reinforced.

Letter to Editor II: "Having just come back from Disney World for the third time since November, I can tell you the decrease in attendance is a myth... me thinks the mouse is crying 'wolf.'"
Unless the writer is Tarzan or Frankenstein's monster, he meant to say methinks, an archaic form of "I think" or "It seems to me" that, nowadays, is used only in a jocular fashion.

Ad headline: "Graphics Auction Event of the Decade (To Be Offered in Bulk or Piece Meal Basis)"
Piecemeal - like methinks - is one word, not two.

"You have two 15-year-olds mashing in the back seat of the car - who's the criminal here? Do we really need Big Brother to decide whether or not that needs to be judiciously pursued?"
The word judicious means prudent, exhibiting good judgment. It's possible that this is what the quoted speaker meant, but my hunch is that she thought the word has something to do with the judicial system. The correct word in this context is legally.

Note that the above are most likely not simple typos but rather what I call "errors of ignorance" - mistakes that neither the writers nor their editors caught.

6 More Days to Installation Night 2nd August 2009

5 reasons why you must bring your partner or a guest.

1) The dancing will starts before 10.00pm. Have you brought your own dancing partner? All the single guys and girls are already fully booked. There will be a long queue before you get your turn to dance with them. So bring your own partner. Or else you will not get the chance to dance the night away!

2) You have been faithfully attending meetings and sometime going home only after 11.00pm (including second round lepak session). Is your partner getting suspicious whom you are mixing with? Clear all their doubts and introduced them to Seremban's finest crowd.

3) We know you have been cutting back on good food and entertainment in this bad economic time. We also know you are BORED with food courts, mamak stalls, or partner cooked food. So come and bring your partner along to enjoy this 2-in-1 Dinner and Dance Installation Night at Seremban's only 5-Star hotel at a miserly RM40/pax. Free fun and entertainment all night long.

4) Bring a guest or two along. This will be your chance to introduced them to the wonderful world of communication and leadership. They will forever be thankful to you.

5) We need to fill up 40 seats.

Venue : Royale Bintang Resort & Spa
Place : Chinese Restaurant M Floor
Type : Buffet Dinner
Date : 2nd August 2009 on Sunday
Time : 7.00 Arrival (Dinner starts at 7.30pm) till 11.30pm
Dress : Formal
Price : RM40.00/pax

For further informations please contact Tan Soo Guan
Email- sgtan@pamitran.com
Phone- 019-3816300